Lent - Prayer

You know writer's block?  Well right now I have prayer's block.

I started Lent last week.  I love this season in anticipation of Easter.  It is not always glamorous, and more often that not I fail and don't keep up with my end of the bargain (I already had a cheat this week).  Yet it is a time to recognize our dependence on our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, and that is clearly displayed in my human frailty.  The thing is, this time I am having trouble "finding" Jesus. 

I have adopted some daily habits to turn my dependence to God, but the pressures of this life keep pushing me aside.  I read a daily devotion to the kids in the morning, but if they're not eating their breakfast or listening, or we are rushing out the door, the meaning is lost.  I try to read my own devotional after they're done, and some days am non-stop interrupted until my coffee is cold and I have tried to re-read the single page devotion 5 times.  I try to pray throughout the day, but between breaking up fights, and making snacks, and handling meltdowns, and cleaning the toilets, I sometimes forget.  So I rely on my evenings once the kids are in bed... but sometimes my brain is dead tired and keeping focus is hard.  Even at church, I rarely get to sit through a service, as I tend to my children, and fill in for Sunday School teachers who are away.  Those aren't excuses.  I am just saying that it is hard. 

I won't give up.  I have a longing to reignite that flame and passion for prayer.  I just realize that this season in life brings challenges.   I share to express that amid the beauty and fun and joy of life, there are hard part too (they don't get showcased as often).  I hope to share more of these times throughout this season. 

God, grant me grace as I seek you more. 

Amen.