Tuesday 3 July 2018

Packing

Boxes... chaos... packing tape... toys... dishes...  more boxes... packing!


With just a week to go, our house is now totally in a state of chaos.  Being my personality that it is, my packing days began early, probably too early, as I purged and organized all the stuff that has accumulated for the past 13+ years.  Yet I managed to keep the chaos to an organized state, cleaning up after myself each day, clearing the counters, and sweeping and mopping floors.  Now we are a week away from D-day and there is no point of cleaning up as I go.  It is time to embrace the chaos around me, though everything in me aches to do otherwise.

I'm learning (again) about putting aside my needs for those of others.  I would rather push through, work hard, and get it all done no matter what stands in my way.  And yet there are two 4-year olds, crying for attention throughout this major life upheaval.  I've given them new toys but they want to play with me.  I pack a box, then stop to color.  I pack a box, and then they need a bike break.  I give them a snack and pack a box, but they want me to sit with them so we sit out on the deck and sit side by side enjoying a cold smoothie in the warm sunshine. 

I'm learning about my relationship with things, as I have been forced to take stock of every single item we own.  We have purged, dumped, donated and sold SO much stuff.  Yet I am not a minimalist.  But neither do I want to be ruled by "things."  (Almost) Every item I own has a use, a purpose, a meaning.  We share our lives with many people so many of the things I use provide an ease for hosting, entertaining, or supporting.  I also have growing kids, and what they need to learn and thrive changes with the seasons.  I like space to feel beautiful and warm.  I like everything to have a place.

I'm learning that I do not thrive in chaos (who really does?).  There are half finished piles everywhere, as the kids dash in and out of my rhythm of packing leaving toys and snacks behind.  I have no energy to keep up with the dishes throughout the day, but they have to be washed at some point, as the available supply dwindles.  There are piles of garbage, piles to donate, and piles to give away to friends or family.  It is summer holidays, and the kids have energy to burn, and there are people to say goodbye to - and the job of packing drags slowly on.  

The packing WILL get done...so everybody tells me.  It may mean late, exhausting nights, and lots of screen time at the end so that we can focus in and get done.  My priority is not on pushing through, not pushing my kids aside, but getting the job done as best as I can.  It's not easy for me.  I've been closing to my breaking point and I'm sure it will come again.  I'm growing and learning.  Guess this is what moving is all about.  

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